[Kimetsu no Yaiba] It’s not what it looks like! (Maybe it is)

Title: It’s not what it looks like! (Maybe it is)
Fandom: Kimetsu no Yaiba / Demon Slayer
Pairing: Rengoku Kyoujuro / Kamado Tanjirou
Words: 1.127
Completed: 2023/04/01
Summary: “I have yet to ask Nezuko-chan on a date but you get to bang our history teacher?!!??!

Life simply is not fair for one Agatsuma Zenitsu.
Links: AO3 & FF.net

Zenitsu blinks once, then twice, and lastly even three more times just to be completely on the safe side that he isn’t part of some abstruse but very realistic dream. However, despite his best wishes and efforts, the scene in front of him never changes, shattering his hopes into many tiny pieces. 

So, neither a dream nor a hallucination, huh?

Where does one draw the line between ‘ I just happen to see someone in a mildly compromised position’ and ‘ you guys are utterly obscene, lock the damn door for god’s sake!’ because right now, Zenitsu is this close to throttling his best friend whose tongue is lost deep in the throat of a certain history teacher, shirts completely unbuttoned and – oh gods, where is the unsee button – hands in each other’s pants. 

What has Zenitsu done to deserve this? All he wanted was to find his best friend who – for the third time this week – has ditched him and Inosuke and mysteriously disappeared throughout lunchtime.


The sudden burst of Zenitsu’s voice startles the pair and they jump apart immediately. Rengoku-sensei, Zenitsu notices, shows at least enough decency and tries to cover up his student, but his own state of undress didn’t do him any favors.

The imaginary switch in Zenitsu’s head flips and quite frankly he has enough. Someone, anyone , give him back the time he spent worrying about his friend because apparently, all he wanted was to get laid!

Unbelievable. No, outrageous!

What is wrong with this world that Tanjirou, the most oblivious person to walk the earth , is the first of the trio of friends to end up in a relationship? Bless his heart – and Zenitsu loves his friend very much, thank you – but that’s some bullshitery going on right there.

“I have yet to ask Nezuko-chan on a date but you get to bang our history teacher?!!??! ” 

Life simply is not fair for one Agatsuma Zenitsu.

“Ze-Zenitsu!” Tanjirou squeals – he squeals! – voice climbing the ladder of octaves as fast as his face is turning into a tomato. “I-i-it’s not what it looks like!”

Zenitsu feels his eyes twitch. 

Not what it looks like?  

Not what it looks like! Of course! I’m sorry, you were just giving him a hand .” The blonde takes a deep breath. Oh, the fucking audacity . “I can hear your heartbeat, Tanjirou! You know I can! And this is exactly what it looks like!” Not to mention the hand which still is in Rengoku-sensei’s pants and oh god, someone please hand him a bottle of bleach, his eyes and sanity are going to need it.

“AND YOU!” The blonde turns to the teacher, a murderous glint burning in his eyes, and points his finger directly at Rengoku’s face. “I don’t care who you think you are, but if you ever hurt Tanjirou or make him cry I will shred you to pieces!!

The room falls silent save for Zenitsu’s huffing and puffing. Not once does he stop glaring daggers at his teacher, who is left mildly surprised by the meltdown of the blonde student. Tanjirou on the other hand glances between the two, hesitant to respond. (What does one say in this kind of situation anyway? The school did not prepare them enough for real life, that is for sure) .

Oh no.


Oh nonononono. 

“Hey, Zenitsu? Is everything alright?” 

Did he—

Did he just threaten a teacher?!?!

“I’M GOING TO DIE I’M GOING TO DIE I’M GOING TO DIE!!!” Zenitsu cries and in an almost hysterical fashion strides up and down, head between his hands but still resembling the very image of a headless chicken.

What has he done?!

“I like you, yellow boy!” Rengoku declares, voice booming and full of laughter. He slaps Zenitsu enthusiastically on the back, but vastly misjudges his strength and sends the poor boy down to his knees in the process. “I’m glad Tanjirou can count you as his friend, young man. But rest assured! I’d rather find myself committing seppuku than ever be the cause of sadness for my precious boy.”

“Stop being so dramatic, both of you!” Tanjirou buries his head in his hands, feeling both annoyed and embarrassed at the same time. How does one stay mad at someone whose smile is so radiant the sun pales in comparison? And holds the power to turn your very knees into jelly with said smile? Exactly, you don’t, which is precisely why Tanjirou quickly turns his back on his lover and faces his best friend instead. 

“Zenitsu”, he begins, “I am so sorry I never told you any of… y’know…” He struggles to find the right words that won’t send him blushing like a fair maiden (despite his bold actions from earlier, putting them into words still embarrasses him to no end) but ends up making a vague gesture in the air with his hand instead. “…this. It isn’t exactly an easy topic to bring up.”

Well, yeah. No shit.

“Though I’m pretty sure Nezuko already knows.” He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, “She always does somehow…”

“Dude, you are a shit liar and you know it.” Zenitsu scratches his head, feeling mildly infuriated it took him so long to figure out his friend was hiding something (a very big something ) from him.

“Just… just tell me one thing – and don’t even think about lying!” The last part manages to get a chuckle out of his friend. “Are you… are you happy?”

The question catches Tanjirou by surprise, however, his expression quickly morphs into a radiant smile, rosy cheeks hug his face and even the tips of his ears are faintly flushed. His heart skips a few beats – a detail Zenitsu doesn’t fail to notice – before it changes to a fast-paced melody; exciting and loving, reckless and passionate. 

“…shit, you have it bad.” 

“Um!” Tanjirou nods.

“MY BOY!” Two bulky arms embrace Tanjirou’s middle and pick up the boy as if he weighs nothing at all. The melody in Zenitsu’s ears changes into a full-blown symphony, evoking the image of a flame burning fiercely and protectively in his mind. It is all quite overwhelming if the blonde student is being honest. 

“You two are so disgustingly in love I’m gonna throw up.” Zenitsu groans, covering his face with his hand, and is most definitely not ready to deal with this new development because not only would that mean accepting an utterly smitten idiot as a friend, but also an equally enamored and besotted fool as a history teacher.

Yeah, no

He glances at the pair, lost in their own little world with big, stupid grins blasted on their faces.

One of these days he’s going to wrap his head around this, but today is not the day. 

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